I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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