You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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