she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
