who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
