Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
