no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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