Nicole vs. Life
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
