"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
