is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
