haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
