Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
