i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
