I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
