I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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