There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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