Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
