You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
