Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
