security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize