I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
