If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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