Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
