I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
