Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i dont even know how to be here
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
