All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
