when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
