office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize