i think my tv is drunk
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
