I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
