it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize