Nicole vs. Life
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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