Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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