I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
