i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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