You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
