Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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