Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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