Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
