i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
