you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
