Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
