I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
