I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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