I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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