I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
