am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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