Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have feelings that need drinking.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
