More tranny stories later!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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