you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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