I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
