Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
