so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
