yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
