ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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