She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
