He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's just like the Real World with babies
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry about my life...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
