Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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