24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
