Operation Purity has been aborted
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
