We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
