he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
