just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
